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Saturday, 08 May 2010 11:32

Porn in 3D - comin' right at ya!

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New technology seems to disable the 'bull' detector in too many people.  Such it is with the latest tale of the after-effects of watching porn in 3D.

I wrote some time ago of the likelihood that the porn industry would be the major driver of 3D uptake in homes around the world.

The jokes practically wrote themselves, I won't tease readers but I'm sure they can come up with plenty of their own.  However, this is one application were the oft-foreseen "smello-vision" just doesn't quite seem appropriate.

Sport is another application for 3D of course, but there's not quite the opening for bawdy humour, so we'll set that to one side.

Coming back to everyone's favourite topic, we find that the humour has become just a tiny bit more subtle.  Take the story published a couple of days ago in the Brazilian on-line newspaper Sensacionalista of a woman who claimed that she became pregnant to the black actor who was (let's say) 'performing' in a 3D porn movie she watched.

Although in Portuguese, the wonders of Chrome's on-line translation tool give us an English version.


Pregnant woman watching porn movie 3D

A white American couple had a black baby and pregnant wife says that watching a porn movie 3D. The child's father, the soldier Erick Johnson, was serving a year at a military base in Iraq, and when he returned home he found a black baby. His wife, Jennifer Stewart, 38, told him that the child was conceived while she was watching a porn film in three dimensions.

"I see it as suspicious. The films in 3-D are very real." With today's technology anything is possible, "said Erick, who recorded the child.

Jennifer said she was a porn film with her friends in New York. She says she does not usually watch porn movies and that was only this time to see how the effects were in 3D. The child, she says, looks like the black actor in the movie. "A month after watching the movie I started feeling dizzy and the result is there. I'll process the film and the producers. Even though my husband believed in me. My marriage could be at risk. But he knows I'm faithful" she said.
[minor edits for obvious translation errors]

Just to set the scene a little here, the newspaper Sensacionalista has the tag line um jornal idento de verdade which literally translates to a newspaper lacks truth, or perhaps more figuratively, "don't let truth get in the way of a good story."

However, here's where the tale gets interesting. 


As other sites started to report the story, it was embellished and added to!

Also (and this is rather strange) while the Brazilian site used a supposed photo of the woman and child with the faces crudely obscured, every other report used the same image with the faces plainly visible.

I strongly suggest readers scour Google for the variety of reporting and comments made by gullible readers.

And there's the point.  While most comments rejected the notion of getting pregnant in such a situation (and I do say 'most!'), they completely missed the fact that the entire story was fake.  After-all, the child in the image seems to be at least a year old and that would mean she was watching the 3D porn around 2 years ago.

Sorry, but there was no such thing in 2008.

But still, why let truth get in the way of a good story; especially when the tale involves porn and high-tech!

 


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David Heath

David Heath has had a long and varied career in the IT industry having worked as a Pre-sales Network Engineer (remember Novell NetWare?), General Manager of IT&T for the TV Shopping Network, as a Technical manager in the Biometrics industry, and as a Technical Trainer and Instructional Designer in the industrial control sector. In all aspects, security has been a driving focus. Throughout his career, David has sought to inform and educate people and has done that through his writings and in more formal educational environments.

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