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Thursday, 16 September 2021 18:05

:'-) A COVID luddite's crazy reasons to not 'trust' the new iPhone 13


Are you as excited about the new iPhone 13 models as I am, but are wary that the 5G it contains might give you COVID? Weirdly, it turns out you might not be alone, and we can't put it down to just the usual iPhone vs Android rivalry!

With COVID having ravaged the world since late 2019, the world has raced to find out how to defeat the virus.

Vaccines have been developed that have inoculated hundreds of millions of people worldwide, and despite some breakthrough infections amongst the vaccinated, the Pfizer, AstraZeneca, Modern, Novavax and vaccines globally from Western countries appear to have been very good at either preventing illness, or making any subsequent illness very mild.

Sadly, an anti-vaxxer movement has emerged, worried that COVID vaccines will make everything about them, save their personalities, magnetic, and that the vaccine contains as 5G chips that work in ways still only known to science fiction.

These people have now been widely reported, since the launch of the new iPhone models on September 14 in the US, to have developed an unusual distrust of the iPhone - and for the first time ever, it has nothing to do with Google, Android or Windows.

A list of reasons why the iPhone 13 is not to be trusted has been circulating across the Internet in these past 36 hours, and the accusations are alarming!

This is the blatant COVID anti-vax inspired information travelling across the Internet at presumed 4G speeds, given the distrust show by these people for the 5G network:

  • It was developed very quickly
  • We don't know its long-term side effects
  • It is not FDA/TGA approved
  • It has a microchip
  • I don't know how it will fit in my veins
  • 5G enabled
  • Changes how your brain functions
  • Made in China
  • More variants on their way

So, if you have been sent this outrageous misinformation, rest assured, although some chronically addicted smartphone users do indeed wish they could inject an A15 Bionic chip directly into their bloodstreams in the hope it embeds itself into their brains.

Ok, so the iPhone 13 was indeed designed in California and made in the China, it does have 5G, and it does have a microchip.

Using an iPhone 13 is indeed infectiously addictive - they are just that good, and using one may well change how your brain functions, but generally speaking, it is for the better.

As for iPhones being developed very quickly - Apple was developing the original iPhone launched in 2007 as early as 2004, and currently works on iPhones years in advance.

With iPhones in use since 2007, we've definitely had well over a decade to analyse long-term effects.

And as always there are definitely more variants on the way!

So, maybe the list isn't so untrue after all - and while the iPhone 13 will give you 5G, it won't be through an injection, unless you count an injection of cash transferred to Apple and your 5G telco to acquire on of these beauties for yourself!

We've tried and failed to find the original source of this amusing list, so we can't give its creator due credit - but it was funny, and we hope you appreciated the satire! :-)


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Alex Zaharov-Reutt

Alex Zaharov-Reutt is iTWire's Technology Editor is one of Australia’s best-known technology journalists and consumer tech experts, Alex has appeared in his capacity as technology expert on all of Australia’s free-to-air and pay TV networks on all the major news and current affairs programs, on commercial and public radio, and technology, lifestyle and reality TV shows. Visit Alex at Twitter here.

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